I have been doing a serious amount of thinking lately and reflecting on where I am now and where I'd like to be. Not just with my channel or my blog, but also with my weight. I do this every single time I turn around I know. I'm constantly talking about how I want to lose weight. But recently I went through some old videos I did last year around this time. Like my most popular, which is my What I Got Dawn for Christmas video. And that girl I was in that video, I don't see her in this year's video.
That girl was happy and confident and on her way to being the woman she wanted to be. She had a decent job, she hated it, but it gave her money in her pocket to pay for the things she wanted. It got her out of the house. It helped her stay active. She managed to lose 20lb. She was posting videos and loved doing it.
That girl I was last year around this time, is not the girl I am this year.
In the past year, I've managed to become who I was before I started that job. The person I was when I hated everything about me. And I'm sad to say that I've gained back the 20lb I lost while working in the laundry department.
While I was watching back those videos today, I decided on something.
I want to be that girl again.
I'm not entirely sure how I'm going to manage that. As of right now, I work part-time for the school district as a lunch monitor. I'm not moving around a whole lot. Sure the kids keep me hopping but it's really just a lot of standing around and making sure they're not doing things they shouldn't be. I open about 15 lunchables in a day though so there's that.
I think what my goal is going to be is to go back to what I was doing before I got the job at the nursing home. I'm going to drop Owen off at school and head to the park to walk around for a while. In 2014 I joined a gym and would do exactly this, drop him off, go to the gym and walk on the treadmill, and then come back home and continue with my day. I lost 15lb that way. It gave me confidence and it got me off my ass.
I am also going to start posting on here and on my channel as regularly as I can. It's not easy when it comes to my channel. There's not usually a whole lot that goes on for me during the day so I can't really daily vlog. And there aren't that many interesting things that happen in my life, so I can't really do storytimes all the time. I'm going to have to buckle down and get creative. We shall see what I come up with.
So basically what I'm saying, you guys, is that I have no idea what I'm doing and I'm going to attempt to fake my way through it. So bear with me!
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